Apartment complexes, whether they offer subsidized housing or represent the private market, routinely check an applicant’s credit and criminal records. Although these may seem like reasonable precautions, they fail to take into account personal change and growth.

Friendship House operates two transitional housing programs for women with or without children. Each woman who stays in our program has made serious efforts to change her lifestyle. For some women, this means leaving a long-term abusive relationship. Often, their finances are intertwined with the person whom they have finally fled, in fear of their personal safety and or emotional and mental health.

Recently, one of our women co-signed a second mortgage with her husband, whom she has no intentions of rejoining, because her name is on the first mortgage and deed of their house. Since the mortgage company was about to foreclose on the house because her husband has not paid the bills, she felt obligated to co-sign the loan to protect her own credit. We are hopeful that a divorce proceeding will free her from the onus of the 25-year financial burden represented by this loan. In the meantime, if her husband does not pay his bills, our resident will suffer the consequences in bad credit which will negatively affect her ability to find quality housing.

In addition to referring residents for credit counseling, Friendship House offers our residents a Credit Restoration Program. As they pay off old debts, Friendship House will match their payments $1.00 for every $2.00 they pay on the bill. Although paying off old debts does not remove the negative credit information, it makes a positive statement to landlords and even potential employers by indicating that the person is addressing these old issues.

Other women have recently terminated another kind of abuse--that of alcohol or drugs. Many of our women have criminal records related to their drug use and have spent time in jail as a result. We generally do not accept a woman into our program unless she has participated in at least a 90-day drug rehabilitation program. Most of our women come to us having spend the better part of a year in treatment. While in treatment, these women have come to terms with the inner anguish that originally contributed to their drug use. They continue to work on their issues by attending aftercare groups, meetings, and individual counseling. They have worked very hard and are committed to the changes they have implemented during treatment. Invariably, it is a constant struggle because their past comes back to haunt them: family and friends are wary of new changes, their work history is "spotty," at best and their employment skills require updating if not actual creation.

Starting over, especially starting from scratch, is incredibly difficult. Our women are heart-wrenching grateful for the support they receive from various training programs, shelters, and other community resources. Their determination to persevere is often fueled by the simple knowledge that returning to their former lifestyle is a death sentence. However, change is always difficult and they need encouragement to continue the daunting task of changing their lives.

The most mature and healthy residents realize that the obstacles facing them as they start over are "COA," that is, the "consequences of my addiction," whether that is drug or relationship addiction. Still, even the person most ready to accept responsibility for her actions becomes discouraged when her past prevents her from finding decent , affordable housing for herself and her children.

Landlords’ precautions regarding credit and criminal background are not unreasonable. They are protecting their own financial security. Yet it seems only fair to also factor in a person’s recent history. Friendship House has been able to forge a few alliances with local property managers. We will only recommend women whom we feel reasonably certain will follow through on their life changes. They have demonstrated their determination by progressing through our program which is initially very structured and supervised, tapering off to semi-structured and supervised. They are generally with us for 9 months to one year. We know them well--their honesty, their commitment, their reliability. They have a track record with us in terms of housekeeping, financial responsibility, and personal maturity (dealing with conflicts, handling crises, parenting, interpersonal relationships and so on).

Unfortunately, the number of landlords or companies that are willing to take a chance on our women remains small. However, we remain convinced that this model is viable. There are many excellent transitional housing programs in Wilmington. If we commit to recommending women who have truly worked to make changes (and not just everyone who really needs housing), we can perhaps forge more alliances with landlords. Ultimately, the "reward" of housing will be an encouragement to all women to make the changes that will lead to long-term stability for themselves and their children.

Marcy Perkins is the Director of Women’s Ministry for Friendship House in Wilmington.